Gordon Keith.com

To Indy

Gordon Keith — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:18:50 +0000

Musers are on the plane ready to take off. I would post a pic I made of Jub Jub on the exit row, but I don’t know how to do that on my iPad. He just vomited.

UPDATE: 4:20 PM ET. We have just landed. George is wearing a FUBU shirt a maintenance man loaned him.

Morning Radio Has Really Aged Me

Gordon Keith — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:00:23 +0000

Could you still love me if I looked like this?

Morning Drive Radio. It’s the pinnacle of the radio broadcasting world, at least in terms of prestige, power, and pay (scoreboard). But there’s a heavy price exacted by such ambition. You age like a muthereffer.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t go to sleep before 10PM, and I can’t sleep more than 5 hours at a time. I know. Cry me a river. I have a wonderful job with sexy co-workers and family of listeners that mean the world to me, but look at this picture. That was taken two years ago. After I’d been professionally lit. By angels. While wearing makeup.

Actually, that’s the work of Mark “Hawkeye” Louis from KSCS, our new country sister station that shares a studio thermostat. Mark stopped me in the hall this week and snapped that pic on an iPad app called Aging Booth. For 99 cents you can look into your future. I hope he gets his money back.

4am is cow-milking time. It’s when your Musers wake up to milk the Content Cow of its sweet creamy humor and digestible opinions. Then we serve it to you fresh 5:30-10am daily. Because we care.

Hopefully, someday the Musers will move to the green leafy lawns of 10-noon and let others turn into the Cryptkeeper while getting you to work in good spirits. But until then, pray for us.

For comparison and nostalgia, here I am at my grandfather’s house the summer before the Ticket went on the air. Yes, bass fishing in a pine-rimmed lake. Heaven.

Summer 1993

BREAKING NEWS: Changes to LSU Tiger Stadium

Gordon Keith — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:55:27 +0000

Geaux Tigers!

The Most Shocking Headline Ever

Gordon Keith — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:25:37 +0000

Sometimes… I just… don’t know…. what to say. Just… don’t click on this. Ever.

Christina Aguilera is Malfunctioning

Gordon Keith — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 11:34:53 +0000

Is this woman human?

Christina is an old friend of mine, so I was saddened this week to see her gossiped about in the news. She was performing at the marriage of Etta James to the afterlife. And while she sang, a brownish liquid began running down her legs seeking the sunlight that was not available under her skirt. What the hell is that? Self-tanner? Menstrual hell? Devil tears?

I’m not sure I want the answer. Especially if it turns out that even vaginas weeped at Etta’s funeral. Here are the pics.

Muser Post Show Podcast Jan 27, 2012

Gordon Keith — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:52:28 +0000

Maybe my favorite one so far. After a horrible intro, we discuss Junior’s emotional breakdown. George and I get pelted with complaints from Announcer Aubry. And apologies are offered to the P1′s. It’s brilliantly exclusive to you- the internet-loving P1 who is reading this right now.

iPhone and iPad users click here

Linky Cream-Filled Post

Gordon Keith — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:22:39 +0000

Meat

I was very honored to win the Emergency Brake this morning for this hiccup-filled Muse in the News. The fun begins about 4:30 into the audio.

It’s always funny when some leaves an angry voice mail.

If you grew up in the 70′s, your childhood is slowly dying.

Texas woman gives birth in car on way to hospital. Here is the disturbing video.

This is the P1′s idea of heaven.

It may be SG, because they are “Old As Eff,” but I still love these guys.

The Destruction of Our Old Studio

Gordon Keith — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 12:16:17 +0000

As a service to humans, I swung by our old home to take pictures of the sad destruction. I felt like a World War II photographer, except instead of a Leica or Hasselblad, my camera allowed me to sext between shots. Stay Hard, Former Ticket Studio that Now Looks Like Osama’s Compound. 1997-2012

Click to view slideshow.

The Musers on Television

Gordon Keith — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:08:57 +0000

Yesterday morning, moments before George Dunham told this emotional story, we were surprised by our new neighbor in Victory Park. WFAA, home of Dale Hansen’s personnel file, sent the lovely Amy Vanderoef, host of WFAA’s Good Morning Texas, to our new studio in Victory Park with a basket of gifts. Through the magic of television, yesterday’s visit appeared on today’s “GMT” show. Watch George drool like Jack the Ripper at the sight of Amy. It’s alarming really.

We look forward to much interaction with Amy and the Good Morning Texas crew. Much interaction.

Muser Post Show Podcast Jan 26, 2012

Gordon Keith — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 17:12:03 +0000

Find out why Junior bailed on this morning’s podcast. Listen to Jeff “Catman” Catlin lie to the P1′s. Enjoy Announcer Aubry’s goat mouth full of tobacco. It’s all here. It’s all exclusive. It’s your behind the scenes look at your favorite Muser morning show.

iPhone and iPad users click here