I intend to do a serious and thorough FAQ page. There are many standard questions we get via email that can be answered here.
Do you have a question about the Ticket? Submit it via comments. Questions about the TV show or column? Comments, bruthah.
Preemptive strike: Yes, I know this seems like a great opportunity to show your snarky cleverness, but vomit in pantaloons instead.
Radio
What happened to Greggo?
Greggo and the Ticket parted ways and he is now employed by a competing station. It was sad to loose a founding member of our Ticket team, one of the Big Five as we used to be called. The problems with Greggo started long before his admitted abuse of prescription painkillers and cocaine. I will say that my main problem with Greggo was not his drug abuse- it was his habitual lying about innocuous and not so innocuous things. He could be a great acquaintance and a not-so-good friend, but I love him truly.
Do you still talk to Greggo?
I try to, but Greggo is sporadic about returning calls. I know some of the guys haven’t gotten over the hurt of the situation enough to speak, and I understand that. I have talked with Greggo several times, on the phone, and in email, and we have seen each other in person once, at a funeral of all places. Our lunch plans have fallen through on more than one occasion.
How does the Ticket stack up against its main rivals in the ratings?
This is a question that I used to never address. My fellow Musers and I counted on others to do that for us while we kept our head down and kept playing ball. But then we began to notice that all kinds of misinformation was out there and no one seemed to be correcting it. There was talk about how the Ticket ratings were tanking, cracks in the foundation, and the other sports stations overtaking us. So I started posting about it. I still feel weird about it and I have noticed the other media outlets are beginning to tell the truth rather than shading it. The Little Ticket does very well in the ratings, despite being David to several Goliaths.
Can I get a copy of that bit?
For some reason, maybe because I have made myself so electronically accessible, I get requests (commands) from people to furnish them newslinks to stories we have discussed or copies of bits we have performed. Unfortunately, I don’t have MP3’s of the bits, but fortunately I invented Google for the newslinks.
Will you mention my birthday (give a shout out) on the air?
I think one of the other shows does this now.
TV
Why were you different on the TV show than you are on the Ticket?
Two different mediums. People seem to think I am really myself on the radio and being fake on TV. I am actually being fake on both. To me, both are acting jobs. A decent radio show is kinda like a sitcom, you need separate identifiable characters. On Musers, we already have the nice family character of George so it wouldn’t make much sense for me to duplicate that. Therefore, I get to play the smartass devil-may-care guy. On TV, my one man band had to be more broad, and I can understand if someone was confused that I wasn’t being “Gordo” as much as they were used to.
Will the TV show come back?
Maybe. But first we will have to wait for the economy to turn around. Channel 8, like most media outlets, had to scale way back and I was low man on that totem pole there.
Website
I posted a comment on your site and it didn’t show up. Why?
Moderated. The GK dot com team tries to edit out comments that suck.
Will you ever have a discussion forum on this site?
Tried that. Devolved quickly into a bunch of guys grabbing the mike to hear themselves scream. I like comments better.
Personal
Why do you guys suck?
Because we have no talent.
Gordon, I guess the thing I’d like to know most is how a radio show comes into being. I mean, your show is on every day from 5:30-10am, but I know you guys work longer hours than that. Do you actually write out material and rehearse it, do you do research, do you have to work 40 hours a week and punch a time card, that sort of thing. Do you have an office at the station? Where do you work when you aren’t on the air? (Not asking that to stalk you, asking that just to understand the flow of the job.) Lots of people probably think you just work 5 hours each day and have the easiest gig in the world, but I can’t imagine that the show could come off as flawlessly as it does without a whole lot of work. Thanks!
Obviously you know more about sports than you generally hold yourself out as knowing. How much did you know about sports before joining The Ticket, and how much has your tenure there increased your sports knowledge?
I didn’t know much sports before joining the Ticket and still don’t know much now. I am a casual sportsfan for sure. I like it, but I am not passionate about it the way most of our guys are. That’s ok though, because my job has never been to handle the sports.
Gordon, why are you still here? I know it’s probably a nice and good paying gig, but good Lord, you are so talented and funny. Share it with the bigger populace, man, move on! I’m just saying.
There once was a time I bought into the idea that you were supposed to move up as high as you could in your chosen field no matter what. The goal was to fulfill other people’s idea of success. Now the goal is to have a good life.
Bottom line is that I like it here and it is a great situation. The job should fund you life, not the other way around.
mortonson, I couldn’t agree more.
Would ever think about going back to doing Stand Up Comedy?
I have never done stand up comedy and I used to say that I never would. But as I get older, I find myself drawn to trying things that scare the hell outta me and that is one of them.
I would probably want to do something more like a spoken word kind of show than a straight forward stand up comedy routine, but who knows? So many things to try, and the sand keeps on dropping.
When will actually answer these questions, Gandon? In addition to the above posed queries, would you be so kind and answer the following inquiry (?): Are you still in communique with one Rocco Pendola?
signed,
Sparky “Hussein” Obama
I still talk to Rocco. We are closer now that we ever were at the Ticket. He is really an interesting guy with a bright mind.
I must say Gordo was more than gracious when I ran into him at Joe T. Garcia’s. I asked him for a photo (in line to the joint, not while he and his party were eating) and he was very nice. It was kind of tough explaining to my friends from out of state why I wanted to take a picture with a “radio/late night local tv guy” but eff’em. Thanks Gordo.
I remember this. You were very nice and I thank you for being respectful and not screaming “babyarm” in my grandmother’s face.
I just wanted to tell you how incredibly hot you are.
I just wanted to tell you what poor taste you have.
VAGINAL SLICE BORN BORN?
It is never a question, but always a statement of faith.
Gordon, I think you are really talented and funny as hell. Love the show, and I too would like to hear more of your street interviews, every one is great.
I’m Ron burgandy????
Thanks for the compliments. The street interviews are fun, but you have to spread them out. They are like heroin- you always need to up the dose, so you pace yourself.
Where’s Ribby?
Where’s the Rant?
Ribby still lives in the Jersey of my mind.
The Rant might may a comeback in the next couple of years. I am flirting with a few ways to make that happen.
When you had Gallagher on the TV show – - which, by the way, made me laugh as hard as I ever have in my entire life – - did you pre-emptively decide to keep the socks on?
Also, you seemingly walked around the front of the table for no reason.
This was such a tipping point of comic perfection. I liken it to Letterman’s morning show with the flower petals that were “soaked in kerosene” prior to the show. Seriously, I can’t tell you how beautifully perfect that segment played out.
Thanks. I left my socks on because the cameras weren’t white-balanced to handle my feet.
I need to go back and watch that Gallagher segment again. I remember there being a funny fall on it.
Did you end up filing charges against Nasty Chris Chris Nestor? I must have missed the exciting conclusion.
I signed the paperwork that the cops gave me and sent it back to them. My initial thought was to let it go, but then I thought “if they went to all this trouble to fill out this charge without any request from me, why should I go against them?” I figure I’ll just let the cops handle it the way they see fit and cooperate fully.
I have not heard anything back from them, so I guess it is in the back of a drawer somewhere.
The civil matter is where I might be more proactive.
Gordon,
I met you at Dallas Dodge a while back. I need to know what VSBB is and what it means please.
Forever yours,
-A
“Vaginal Slice Born Born” is a nonsensical phrase that I uttered while recording a bit about five years ago. Corby had written some line he wanted me to record, and since I never can read his horrible handwriting, I joked that the line read “vaginal slice born born.” Well, we all got a kick out of it and told the story on the air. Then some P1’s picked up on it and made it into the worst catchphrase of all time. It means nothing (except pure irritation for George on the Emergency Brake of the Week voting every Friday at 7:50am).
what was the line that Corby actually wrote? if you still remember
Gordo,
The other morning, you did an interview at Texas Motor Speedway. The guy you were talking to told a joke about a blind in a fishing store. Woman came in to be a reel…… Where can I find that piece; where can I listen to it.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the audio.
Could you tell me a little more about your musical background? When did you start playing? Did you take lessons or teach yourself?
i love you
Gordon-
Could you explain to me what “peanut butter factor” is? I get most of the lingo that you guys use on air but that one has always stumped me?
Gordo: I was listening to the Orphanage Saturday AM and heard the comments aboutbthe Ruby/Oswald/Lavelle poster. I bought one at a guitar show a few years ago that has Oswald singing Ruby playing a lefty Strat and Jim Lavelle playing a Gibson (335/whatever). Anyway, My wife’s grandmother was a Lavelle and was a cousin to Jim Lavelle. I got her to get Mr. Lavelle to sign my poster at some family deal a few years ago. I never got to talk to him but I met him at her funeral. Anyway, not exactly Earthe-shattering info but nonetheless interesting….
If you enjoy great internet time wastes, I was told about this gem….www.textsfromlastnight.com
Will I ever hear your greatest bit as Coach Tom Foolery again? Come on I think you under rate this bit! I cackle every time I hear it!
Actually, I was not the voice of Tom Foolery. That is a college friend of George and Craig.
Gordo – two weeks ago on E-brake George said it was the last chance to vote. Are they doing away with call in votes? Say it ain’t so! Love you guys!
PLEASE someone other than me confirm this is one of the hottest chicks alive!
http://www.evawyrwal.com/
Gordon, I’m a fairly new listener to the Ticket and generally love your intelligent and witty brand of humor. You metion receiving emails from P1’s but I was unsuccessful at determining how to do that so hopefully you’ll receive this post. I’d love to see if you could successfully get George to read the following phrase on air:
Isle of Tooper
Form Filet Show
It looks dull enough but when you HEAR some one say it aloud it will make audio gold in the “drop” computer. This one, oddly enough, came to me after seeing a Chick-Fil-A billboard.
others that are fun…
Spell IHOP followed by the suffix -ness. (i.e. – I.H.O.P-ness)
Eye Yam Sofa Kinga Libble or
Eye Yam Sofa King More ahh Nick
(note: I don’t use the language implied in these last two but Sofa King makes a great mattress – they’re Sofa King Great actually
)
I loved your guys segment on Louis CK so I went and found some more of his stuff – This clip is my favortite by far: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG4f9zR5yzY&feature=fvw
If you are that surprised by the actions of those soldiers in Iraq then you are living with your head in the sand.
Who is the dark haired big boobed bimbo who graces GK.com every week? What’s her name? I want to ask her out. Thanks Gordon!
Keep Rockin and a rollin!
The only bad thing I saw was the guy throwing the puppy at the end. That was bullshit and that guy needs counseling and jail time. Everything else was nothing worse than office gossip mainly because only the troops were in on the joke as far as I could tell. I left DFW in 1998 and it is kind of sad to see that Gordon is still doing this. He could have done a lot better.
Gordo:
How much time a day to you devote to reading books. And, how many do you read/month?
Thanks!
have you seen this? http://poststuff5.entensity.net/062209/flash.php?media=dirtymouth.flv
Gordon is my hero. My Facebook page tells you so.
Gordon, you know the hypothetical “If you could ask anyone to dinner, who would it be?” My choice would be you. OK now I sound like a British cigarette. Kiiiiiilllll meeeee!
Gordo,
I have been away from Ticketdom for a few years and am now in a “situation” where I can return. While watching various drafts over the past couple weeks, a hunger pang of reminiscence punched me in the stomach. I want to ask this q. Does the Ribby still call in and grade NFL and NBA drafts?\
thanx
Did you really write “mediums”? That’s a terribly funny mistake because that is a rare word for which people consistently get the plural form right but screw up the singular form. As always, you are not the norm.
Gordo, anyone ever tell you that you look like man-kini from The Soup?
Great Gordo,
Did you see the Ghost of MJ on Larry King…here is the link.
http://new.uk.music.yahoo.com/blogs/guestlist/22059/is-this-the-ghost-of-michael-jackson/
Q: What does Billy Mays’ gravestone read?
A: Billy Mays Here!
I have meet you twice. And both times you have told me how gorgeous I am. So, I wanted to set a date with you! I don’t care if your married.lol(so am I)I also have pics.Hit me up….you have my e-mail.
Corby thinks you are ugly, lady.
Gordo’s address
Hey, where is my COMMENT???….I knew you would chicken out.
Have you seen this photo?
http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/Most-Emailed-Photos/ss/1756;_ylt=AvWaItQ86SK8r4eGOfne1KUFO7gF
A follow up to the story about Colton Read. I worked with Marty Gaffney in the Marine Corps. What they did to him and his family was beyond cruel. He spent the last part of his life fighting for a settlement for his daughter, who was going to live with his brother after Marty’s death.
http://www.nytimes.com/1991/11/02/us/martin-gaffney-42-aids-victim-who-sued-us-for-malpractice.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Gaffney
Loved the “Coach Joe” bit today – it was hilarious. Keep up the good work Gordo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_kqWwC67cI
Gordon,
I thought you might enjoy this link. Rumor has it that this guy is on some fairly hard core drug and his buddies recorded his rant and then animated the story… greatness.
Love the show.
Vitek
Pretty please– what’s the name of the 9-11 book you talked about during this morning’s O-Deck (mon 8/3)?
M, Vick should go to the browns so he could be part of the dog pound!!!
Have you been in therapy? No, really. You sound like a guy who spent enough time in therapy to see the dark underworld of the soul, and to learn to “joke” about it, but not enough to actually drive the demons from your head. True, or did you just read a little psychology to go along with your sophmore’s understanding of philosophy? (That’s not a bad thing, by the way.) Of course, part of the discrete charm of the ticket is that at least some of its hosts will voice their psychoses in the name of “joking.” No such thing as a joke, right?
I found Georgio’s personal craigslist ad:
http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/ads/1330974230.html
I hope to call you on air tomorrow to further your discussion about my unfortunate name and to tell all your divorcing listening buddies about collaborative law.
Peace, Gay
I heard you talking about a TV show that features various Chris Chris males making claims about the socio-economic status, then being confronted with the facts about their true plight. But I forgot the name of the show, can you please remind me? I am desperate to watch it.
Fight the power
Gordo,
Could I hear a bit coming from a local Whataburger where the cast of characters comes through the drive through ordering a pile of food. I can hear Jerry and Wade and top it off with Nolan along with a couple of snow monkeys.
Stew
gordo give me a call would you. are you can reach me at at web adress. i do better at calls than computer.I left you message at your station phone too.
good morin to ya JD
Something seems off – is it the Puma hat?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/howaboutthat/6206869/Chinas-hairiest-man-Yu-Zhenhuan-undertakes-laser-hair-removal-treatment.html
Where did you get the pic in the “Learn how to use the equipment you have, girl” caption on Bad Angle Friday? She is smokin’ hot!!!! I wanna see more of her!
Could you reccommend some good books?
Great Gordo,
Your Halloween articles are truly genius. Where can I find the Halloween articles of years past? I would love to re-read them and claim some of the humor as my own to my friends.
Yours,
Great Robb
Gordon: On 10/22 Don Ivan Punchatz passed away. This guy was the MAN as far as illustrators from this area, and his work for a ton of mags, teaching of Gary Panter and others, and presence in the art scene in the US (from Arlington, of all places!!) requires your comment on the air or your site. Do it, my boy…..TE
Gordon, I absolutely loved Michael Vick’s PSA! You guys teased me a few days ago by playing a little of it…I was thinking that since we are playing the Eagles this week that maybe Vick might want to “coach” the Cowboys on being more humane to cows, horses, snakes…you know, stuff cowboys rangle…Anyway, thank you for making me laugh on a nearly daily basis…(joke)
LOOSE a team member?? Gordon, please.
Elephant birth – thought you would appreciate this.
http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/656611/d1dfcfee/live_olifant_geboorte_tv.html
Did you see that movie?
Check out this site and watch bears playing a a game of ice hockey.
This company’s business is booming all of a sudden.
http://www.superwarehouse.com/Buffalo_printer_accessories/b2/47/c/2266
Gordon, two things:
1. I can’t explain it, but I am hooked on the Dallas Dodge promos, especially with the “HEY! Dallas Dodge!!” at the very end. Love it. I find myself singing it throughout the day, and my wife and kids look at me like I’m crazy. Of course, I also like to sing the Whitney Houston song “I Will Always Love You” from the film “The Bodyguard” in full-on falsetto…
2. Regarding the deep throated gentlemen who does the JR’s Steakhouse spots with you: if you remember the very first one you did, his original name was not “Steakman”, but rather “Steakey”…just thought you should know…
Take care.