Gordon Keith is a radio host on the four-time Marconi finalist morning drive show on KTCK SportsRadio 1310 AM “The Ticket” in Dallas, Texas. He shares hosting duties with George Dunham and Craig Miller from 5:30am to 10am on weekdays.
Gordon was the host of the Gordon Keith Show on WFAA Channel 8 in Dallas, Texas from 2007-2009. It was cancelled due to lack of interest and weight gain.
Gordon has won five Emmys for his television work from the Lone Star Chapter of the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences.
Gordon’s television commentaries often appear Thursdays on Channel 8 WFAA in Dallas, TX during the 5pm newscast. His celebrity interviews appear frequently on Good Morning Texas 9am-10am M-F on WFAA Channel 8.
Gordon’s newspaper column (no longer available online) appeared weekly in Quick, a tabloid from the publishers of The Dallas Morning News. Finally, after seven long years, the paper folded along with Gordon’s hopes and dreams. Gordon is currently threatening a treasury of his columns in book form.
Gordon is on Twitter.
Gordo-centric segments on the Ticket:
Gordon’s Observation Deck- 6:30am
Muse in the News with Gordon- 7:10am
The 8:40 bit- 8:40am
Gordo’s Corner- 9:10am
There is alot of pressure on olympic athletes to represent their countries well. I guess he felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
BTW – I like the new format, it feels like I am cheating on the real Gordon.
you make me insane every morning. may God have mercy on your soul
Gordo, I drive my spoiled daughter to private school daily. We leave in the 7:05 to 7:10 timeframe. We are targeting 7:15 fun time, but the little spit has noticed the schedule slip to 7:18 or later in the last few weeks. She is megawhiney without her nes… Whathe? P1 Kevin, p1.5 Gillian
go here this is funny http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zce-QT7MGSE
gordo – if you’re giving out goody bags for clay shoot, could you use free burger coupons? if so, just let me know.
thanks,
sandy
Look at the damn camera, man! What the hell are you looking at? Look at me, Gordo! Now! Damn it.
I always wondered what to do with my Qing dynasty tea pot box. Now I now.
I found a Skinlanin!!!!
listen up to the interview – he’s a freakin Skinlanin!!
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=3906861&cl=9436627&ch=4226713&src=news
The new look is so “conventional”. I came back to the site looking specifically for your link to the “Fun with Geography”. Does any one still have that link?
Dear Gordon:
I loved your Muse in the News segment this morning as you, Dunham and Miller discussed the new RNC VP Candidate.
Like you, I watched in admiration last night as she played to the crowd and camera as the ex-professional TV personality and beauty pageant contestant she is.
It makes me wonder why everyone’s expectations of her were so low. She’s trained to do what she did last night: Smile at the camera, don’t trip when you talk, know who your audience is.
Then I had that “coyote ugly” moment.
I listened to your snippets of her speech and heard “that voice.” I believe Miller referred to her “Fargo” accent. “That Fargo thing goin’ on” I think he said. If she had been chewing gum, the picture would have been complete.
With sarcasm dripping like chocolate fondue off of a plump strawberry onto your only white dress shirt, she didn’t play well “audio only.” She had me till then. Now I can’t get the stain out.
Thanks for opening my eyes by opening my ears to this moment in history. And to be fair, historically speaking, those who watched the Kennedy-Nixon debates found Kennedy the winner. Those who listened only, preferred Nixon. So, as your granny probably told you as mine told me: “Belive half of what you see and none of what you hear.”
Her “Hockey Mom” line about putting lipstick on a pitbull reminded me of the colloquialism here in Texas: “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.”
Pound for pound, I thought Michelle Obama’s speech was tighter, better delivered, more sincere and was full of information about her husband and what he stands for–not as the star of the show last night delivered–a speech about what she’s against.
I think in the final analysis, what these two conventions highlight is that the Republican machine is fueled by fear and sarcasm, the Democrat machine runs on hope and charity.
Thanks again for the great show. I’m not sure what it says about how my brain works, but my three sources of radio information input come from KERA, WRR and KTCK.
Best regards,
Ross
Long Time Listener, First Time Caller
What a doucher.
Yes, what a doucher.
Memo to Cobby Donaldson –
It’s Sao Paulo. Not San Paulo. You owe Fogo like 50 make goods.
Are you freakin kidding me?
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/906397//?pc=73214
Given current times, check out this website and share your thoughts of (1) if you’re on the ledge, (2) have been on the ledge or (3) how you stepped off the ledge — no holds barred.
Very open-ended forum to vent and discuss.
- LedgeMaster
(good have good strong Gordo…been there since the Skip Bayless loop on day 1).
Stay Hard.
Hey Gordo,
The vocal sound that Eddie Vedder started continued by Hootie, Nickleback and Puddle of Mud is called the “R” factor. Being in the music biz, those who hate this have started AARF. Artists against R Factor.
Thanks.
Sorry, the reason it’s R Factor is because every syllable sounds like it ends in R.
Kinda funny. lol.
I am a P1 from D1 and I think I am authorized to make this comment “Ross Vick is a Dufus” and I pray that some day he will awake from his stupor and see the real lightand he will remember that while Sarah’s husband was getting a DWI that Obama was “into heavy drug use”.I wish I knew as many words as Mr. Vick.I hope he gets ouut of prison sooner or later.THX.
Thought you might want to know.
NC
i have always wondered why handicap people more importantly wheel chair bound people are so freaking cocky. they make you wish that you were all Christopher Reevesed up. they get the sympathy of 90% of the community and if thats not good enough they get the cool parking spots close to the building….. THEY HAVE FREAKING WHEELS THEY CAN ROLL! save that spot for some fat lady with cow stomach and stretch boob, they need it. the wheelchair person has it great they get the benifit of the doubt every time leaving the rest of load to stretch boob cow stomach….. not fair!
gordo made me write this
mark-O
Mark Ervin,
ROFL! And don’t forget caretakers. They’ve got it pretty good too. All they have to say when running late to whatever is, “Yeah, I had to change my dad’s diaper.” No one *ever* questions it.
What is your email? I have a fuuny pic from a college football game I’d like to send you.
Having listened to several of your dialogues on the ticket regarding politics I thought you’d enjoy reading the book called, “The Limits of Power: The End of American Exceptionalism”, by Andrew Bacevich.
Here’s an Amazon link to the book.
The Limits of Power: The End of American Exceptionalism
Hey Gordon,
If you are looking for the “elites”, they are hanging out with all the racists who disagree with The One.
Please leave your politics off The Ticket. It is a refuge from all of the BS on the airwaves right you ruin it for 1/2 of us.
hi, i’ve got pics of my new emo hairstyle
in http://tinyurl.com/5bts22
Video explaining why a vote for Obama will end war, cure all diseases, and give every American a million dollars cash.
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/pt/slideshows/2008/07/pho_072308_cherrypit/ Picture 4
http://www.cabel.name/2008/09/sonseed-full-album.html
Sonseed’s whole album!!! WHAT A BLESSING!!!
http://www.fun2play.tv
Gordo,
I think that as the king of all Dallas media, you should take it upon yourself to make sure that President Bush’s new home here in the Metroplex becomes commonly referred to as “Compound W”. What better name for George’s new residence? And what better messenger to champion this addition to our local lexicon than you? We’re depending on you, Gordo. Get the word out!
RC
The gift of giant microbes. Nothing says Merry Christmas like Flesh Eating Microbes – http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/flesheating.html
http://news.muckety.com/2008/12/17/golden-boy-j-ezra-merkin-helps-wipe-out-fathers-legacy/8571
More financial fall-out, even Merkin’s aren’t safe.
The Best Dance Ever…. (Makes You Cry)
You just lost a reader.
Share hosting duties with George and Craig? Not much.
And Quick isn’t daily anymore, ya schmuck.
You gotta look up “Casual Sax” on youtube.. play the first video that pops up.. these guys rap on yacht rock.. its amazing.
stay crazy Gordon.. you make my morning drive manageable.
Gordo
Yes–file charges on Nestor. This guy is scum, and its time he learns you don’t go choking people in society. You try to make peace, and get assaulted. There’s a better way to function in public. I don’t care what’s at the root of his hostility–he crossed the line. If this is what you get for trying to bury the hatchet, I’d hate to see what happens when you send a heartfelt letter. Is it professional jealousy, or just being a little short on common sense? I predict he will be unemployed soon–his station doesn’t need class action lawsuits against it. He brought this all on himself.
I was following GordonKeith on twitter. He has 14 followers. Not really prolific. One tweet to be exact.
after review holmes has two feet down !!
ROCKME
Hey Gordon,
What do you think about this wootie?
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=44529335&searchid=64f32970-b35d-429e-8c2c-e2313bc26cba
A disturbing site I ran across today: http://www.findagrave.com/
Enjoy!
Gordo,
I think I discovered the root cause of Junior Millers silent but deadly butt disorder. He needs to get on this stuff.
Thanks for the time. Seacrest out.
Friday February 20, 2009 at 8:30pm
Banter Cafe
219 W Oak St.
Denton, TX, Texas 76201
Come on out for a great night of acoustic music – orignials and covers – featuring Bill “Harmonica Man” Allen. Also featuring Chris-n-Chris, plus a great acoustic jam session featuring some excellent musicians from Denton.
No cover!
Check out the “featured act”
Cajun Boy In City Vid
http://www.kxii.com/home/headlines/40791072.html
I think her wheels flew off.
Hey Gordo
Just thought you would like to know: About the “Most Kick Ass Car in DFW”, I have seen a vampire looking white female in Garland driving a car simular to the one you posted. Her car though I would be will to bet that it’s even MORE KICK ASS. I’m sure there are others out there who have seen it so put the word out for a picture, I’m sure you will get one soon. She seems like a vampire character and the car is also like a Batman/Vampire mobile, it’s smaller than the one you posted but MORE KICK ASS…
enjoy
Hey Gordon, I just wanna say that I stuff as many copies of Quick and Observers and Speedstick into my armpits as I can every Thursday and Marty Mc.fly them ho’s to work so we can read them at break time! And I must say your articles crack me up making me giggle out loud like a TMZ regular relapsing in re-hab! You should do a movie or stand up dude for sure,you crack me up and if someone can make me laugh out loud all alone then they gotta be funny! Especialy when you talk about humping the air dude omg the visuals lmao be cool man!
this makes me insane http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=39123
penis fish?
PENIS FISH?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning the dash of my truck after spewing coffee all over the place!
thanks,
Jim
http://www.overstock.com/Sports-Toys/SWB-Fish-Bone-Removal-Tool-Set-of-2/3432811/product.html
Gordon,
If you know anyone from the TODAY show please tell them we’re sick of hearing about what Michelle is weraring. And oh by the way, the Obamas are not the Kennedys. If you could please forward that message as well that would be great!
Thanks to TODAY’S efforts alone we are stuck with this guy for the next 8 f-ing years. It’s time to pull your nose out of his a– TODAY show! America is ready for some new material ok?
Gordon,
Nobody is a bigger Smiths’ fan than me, but I’ve heard that Morrisey is a big baby at his solo shows if the audience doesn’t react just so. I heard that he has walked off the stage in the middle of a set if the crowd starts begging for Smiths’ songs. Don’t waste your time on this show, as it’s not worth the money or the aggravation.
Surgery cure for FUPA found!
http://www.plasticsurgery4u.com/procedure_folder/abdominoplasty7.html
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/baseball/mlb/news/2001/07/25/andruw_goldclub_ap/#null
http://www-cgi.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0107/25/lt.11.html
When the judge asked Andruw what he did after the two girls performed lesbian acts on each other, his response…”Both of them”.
Gotta root hard (real hard) for this guy!
P1 in ATL (by way of Dallas)
Chris
http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/4596/2864397808708461638c.jpg
Gordo,
Here is the miracle of HDTV. Go back and watch the Masters and check this out. When Mickelson and Tiger were at the par 5 fifteenth hole, after Mickelson hits his shot, the cameras go to the gallery. There is a guy and girl in the middle of the picture. He is cheering with one hand in the air, and the other on the shoulder of the girl. After about a second, the hand on the shoulder of the girl, reaches down and gives the right hooter a tremendous honk honk. She looks over and gives him a what the hell you doing look.
Check it out, it is kinda funny.
The greatness of beardhead.
http://www.beardhead.com/
Idiocracy restaurant
http://www.heartattackgrill.com/
Nestor pic…
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3614/3348220493_6cc0d9a803_o.jpg
hope this will come thru, U2 & ABBA fan
Gordo
The guys at the office have had a race for the last couple of weeks to see the latest “theme of the day” on the website. We have been a little disappointed this week and we are looking forward to some more “refrigerator” and “minivan” ____days.
P1 Lincoln
Hey there Gordon, just looking to find out the name of the girl in one of your photos http://gordonkeith.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/handrail.jpg
Thanks a million
Paddy
Just wanted to see if you could pass along a thank you for Junior. Thanks for his insight into what Memorial Day has become……..As a Vietnam Vet people always tell me thank you and I appreciate that. But most dont know it is to remember those who paid the ultimate.
Thanks
somthing tells me Gordo can appreciate this humor
Obviously one of Miller’s ex-girlfriends staking out his wedding. No other explanation.
http://thechive.com/2009/01/its-impossible-not-to-stare-part-ii-17-photos/
Isn’t that Rhyner, seventh photo up?
Joyce Durham?
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/soccer/06/19/fan.banned.ap/index.html
Circumcision Story
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529571,00.html
“this is something that we advise men never do”
DUH!
There are much better options- weed wacker, cigar trimmer, carrot grader etc.
Mikee
Why is that a black baby in your arms?
F/U for Bracelet Thursday!!! Nasty, filthy animal!
real people acting out real posts from real people…really really funny
Cigarette Friday…. http://www.motocafe.ru/images/stories/news_motocycles/news_066/ducati_girls/ducati_girls_1.jpg
Summer Camp for nerds!
http://www.internaldrive.com/locations/tx-summer-camps-texas-computer-camps/
http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-300551
Looks like you may have developed some sort of vitiligo, Gordo.
Please make up 5 “best of” D&M shows to be played when ya’ll are on vacation. I assume that when Norm takes your slot that, like me, most people turn off the radio for a week. He’s sports informative but boring and when He tries to be funny He’s so not funny. You keep me entertained every morning and when your not there the day starts so slow, please don’t ever leave to go to a larger market. They do the top ten each night so obviously it wouldn’t be too difficult to make up best of shows out of 6 months of programs.Having someone fill in doesn’t lead to us listen to them more when you come back. So please stop it. Love, PC 3 in Garland.
Gordo – my wife an I both agreed with all of the outrageous budgets used for weddings, But, she is already preparing me for our daughters “day”; I said how will you pay for that stuff; she said she already squirrling away funds to buy everything she did not get in her wedding, because I had to pay for our wedding, limited to $10,000
New Olympic Sport: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferret_legging
Papa John’s Camaro- He drives a replica that he commissioned in some commercials, with a delivery light on the top. love, Vagi
I loved your “unfortunate name”, but I got another one for ya! Here is the link to his site!
http://www.tarleton.edu/~mhawke/
Enjoy!
(The Soup reminded me of this, there are more than one of these guys)
Love the show, and love ya!
P1 Angie Dawn
Gordon,
I listen to The ticket everyday. I enjoy all of the shows. I do however think you are the funniest!
I have had two dreams about you in the last couple weeks. Last night I had the lastest one. We started kissing. Why are you in my dreams!! I thought the interview you had with Duncan Jones was interesting I really want to see his film. Keep up the great work.
P1 – Michelle
The guy in the Hitler rant Video With the NFL Hall Of Fame Colored Double Breasted Jacket Looks Like a short Brandon Mc Carthy? WDYT
loved your spot on channel 8 news -hope it’s a regular feature
can u send me the website or info on that cartoonist you mentioned this am , does the ticket themes?
Thanks for the 15 seconds of fame at Wataburger. That book is “The 48 Laws of Power”.
http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local-beat/19-year-old-Arrested-For-Duct-Taped-Cat–62286872.html
This morning’s stint at dog park was radio gold. Thank you for being you. And here’s this, which don’t make no kinda sense:
http://www.hotchickseatingtacos.com/
Stephen Fry and New Zealand come together like chocolate and peanut butter in this heartwarming nature short …
This makes my Longhorn head crazy….
Just the funniest site ever. Cruise through the 76 pages of this one.
George at Wal Mart.
http://media.peopleofwalmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/283.jpg
I killed a gopher with a stick once
My thoughts on your Sit-Com ratings:
1) Seinfeld. George Costanza was the greatest sitcom character ever
2) Curb Your Enthusiasm
3) WKRP in Cinncinnatti – Herb Tarlek was the 2nd greatest sitcom character ever. I never laughed so hard in my life during their Thanksgiving episode, where Mr. Carlson threw live turkeys out of a helicopter because he thought they could fly
4) Green Acres – Arnold the Pig was the 3rd greatest sitcom character ever
5) Fernwood 2 Night – Fred Ward was genius.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,575295,00.html
The big 0………300 times as day!
Gordo, I had this dream and my husband insisted I write you about it. I have NO FREAKIN CLUE as to where this came from, but here you have it!!!
My dream started with me looking at a bunch of photos of a snowy, mountainous region with a man in the photos. He was a rugged type guy and doing random crap. There were photos of a logging area and then of a 3 story brown house in a huge fenced in yard. Next thing I was in the house being given a tour by Gordo. We were in the bedroom when some 6’3, dark haired nutjob came in and beat Gordo to death with a green hairbrush. While Gordo was in his “fight” I ran and hid under a bunch of blankets on the bed. The guy lost me and then ran over and shoved the sharp knife in my face….threatening to kill me. After a long pleading with the guy and learning that Winnie the Pooh was what made him mental….I talked him out of killing me and he left. The police came and suddenly I had to brush my hair. I looked down and saw the green brush next to Gordo’s dead body.
WTF??? WTF???WTF??? This is probably the most jacked up dream I have ever had!!! I do not do drugs and am married to a cop!!!!!
Jeez-us f-ing Ch&^*^*%!@!!! I am at a loss for words!
Love you Gordo!!!
Hey Gordon I love your site and had a suggestion…if there was any way you could incorporate a search into your site that would be awesome! I remember a particular post that was absolutely hilarious (which really narrows it down, right?) that I would love to show one of my many girlfriends but it was so long ago I have no idea how many older posts I would actually gladly go through. But if i had a search it would be easier! It was the post of an elementary school kid writing a story in class that was just absolutely absurd…it was supposed to be a history report or something that was totally bullshitted. good stuff
http://www.youtube.com/user/drunkhistory?blend=1&ob=4
Note that on the below website you posted, the black gentleman singining in the 1st picture of the 4 at the top banner.
http://www.stuffwhitechristianslike.com/
Dear Gordon, I feel obliged to write concerning a part of the Tiger Woods saga that has gone utterly and completely ignored. For many of us men this has been a blessing in disguise to learn what not to do when you are having an affair. If I had only known.
1. Buy a 2nd secret cell phone.
2. Never, EVER text message from a phone your wife can find.
3. Actually, just use a pay phone
Signed Bill Clinton
Rich Phillips’ squid??
Hey Gordon. Nice job saying “cock” on the Channel 8 New Years special!! That made my NYE!!! When do we get to watch the clip on your website?
amazing….I haven’t heard a voice this uplifting since, “Remembering Lacy”….
Snuggie for star wars
http://www.likecool.com/Snuggie–Other–Gear.html
not neil young–its jimmy fallon
Triple Double Baconator Challenge
One boy….. one burger…… six patties….. 2520 colories…..one dream.
Gordo, check out this F’ed up site:
http://manbabies.com/
Hey Gordo,
The only people who should be offended by those swastikas in the SI swimsuit photo are Nazis. Those swastikas represent German planes shot down in WWII by that particular P-51 Mustang, quite possibly the greatest American fighter ever produced. The Huntington Press should really do their homework before putting up such an idiotic poll.
In reference to Craig’s bashing of no good Canadian beers I suggest you try anything by Unibroue. Try Maudite, La Fin du Monde, or U2.
They come in 4 packs and if you can drink 4 and still walk THEN you are a bada$$
Check this guy out. He is the 1st Christian poet/comedian/dancer I have ever come across. He is quite prolific…#55.
DO THE FUNNEL!!
I haven’t seen any ratings post lately and have heard varying reports. Will you post or where can I find the info? Stay hard
info to drive georgie crazy. teen age brains aren’t fully formed. hmm…go figure…
the worlds most action packed movie..
animated Michigan Left Turn
http://www.michigan.gov/documents/mdot/MDOT_Roads-Travel_mich_left_213414_7.swf
It would be a great benefit if you would leave the name of the models advertising the various backgrounds in your pictorials. It’s difficult to find the exact colors, designs, and styles without this information. Thank you.
Hey gordo,
This might interest you. Or not!
http://www.buzzfeed.com/tabloidprodigy/chinese-farmer-has-the-largest-man-boobs-in-the-wo-2qd
great gordon…….
Vagina-Scented Perfume Debuts
http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpp/news/032210-New-Scent-Boasts-Vaginal-Aroma?obref=obinsite
Hi Gordo,
I’m a P1, yr5 and listen all day long at work I heard ya’ll talking about zombies the other day. I thought you might like to read a book by Max Brooks “The Zombie Survival Guide”. Just thought you’d like to check it out. VSBB Rick the Red
On your homepage today, it looks like you are checking out the daily hawties arse from your profile picture on the right… GENIUS!!!!
Gordo. I hope the e-brake from Wednesday between Norm and the Goose will be heard again Friday. It was very Mike Rhyner/Kenny Loften esque. All right stay hard.
Gordo,
Please post on Podcast the fake Jerry and Wade interview after the Texas Stadium implosion.
Great bit!
Thanks
Good morning.
I noted with interest the comments this morning 4/16 on Muse in the News, about the so-called :”radical” nature of the various Tea Party groups around the country.
Assuming this was not tongue-in-cheek humor, you could not be more wrong in branding these people as “radical”, in the modern, generally accepted definition of that word. Anyone who has attended a Tea Party rally would find the participants to be mainstream, hard-working, middle-class citizens – who are united in their frustration and yes, anger, with an elected government that does not listen to, much less obey, the will of the majority. Even a quick glance at your paycheck or mine reveals just how over-taxed we are, yet we seem to receive less and less for our money. In fact, we now face a mounting debt of historical proportions, that has already made debtors of unborn generations.
I understand the need for your program to generate a certain amount of controversy. But these are crucial times. To portray ordinary Americans exercising their right of peaceful dissent as “radicals”, does a disservice to you, your program, to all of us. We are all affected every day by the actions and decisions of our government.
Thanks for your time.
Ugh. The nannycam made me sick.
Good morning.
Comments were made on this morning’s Muse in the News segment, about how difficult it is to become a citizen here. Please note this story by Michelle Malkin for some perspective on this issue. Thanks.
The Jihadists’ Deadly Path to Citizenship
By Michelle Malkin
May 5, 2010
America’s homeland security amnesia never ceases to amaze. In the aftermath of the botched Times Square terror attack over the weekend, Pakistani-born bombing suspect Faisal Shahzad’s U.S. citizenship status caused a bit of shock and awe. The Atlantic magazine writer Jeffrey Goldberg’s response was typical: “I am struck by the fact that he is a naturalized American citizen, not a recent or temporary visitor.” Well, wake up and smell the deadly deception.
Shahzad’s path to American citizenship — he reportedly married an American woman, Huma Mian, in 2008 after spending a decade in the country on foreign student and employment visas — is a tried-and-true terror formula. Jihadists have been gaming the sham marriage racket with impunity for years. And immigration benefit fraud has provided invaluable cover and aid for U.S.-based Islamic plotters, including many other operatives planning attacks on New York City. As I’ve reported previously:
– El Sayyid A. Nosair wed Karen Ann Mills Sweeney to avoid deportation for overstaying his visa. He acquired U.S. citizenship, allowing him to remain in the country, and was later convicted for conspiracy in the 1993 World Trade Center bombing that claimed six lives.
– Ali Mohamed became an American citizen after marrying a woman he met on a plane trip from Egypt to New York. Recently divorced, Linda Lee Sanchez wed Mohamed in Reno, Nev., after a six-week “courtship.” Mohamed became a top aide to Osama bin Laden and was later convicted for his role in the 1998 United States embassy bombings in Africa that killed 12 Americans and more than 200 others.
– Embassy bombing plotter Khalid Abu al Dahab obtained citizenship after marrying three different American women.
– Embassy bombing plotter Wadih el Hage, Osama bin Laden’s personal secretary, married April Ray in 1985 and became a naturalized citizen in 1989. Ray knew of her husband’s employment with bin Laden, but like many of these women in bogus marriages, she pleaded ignorance about the nature of her husband’s work. El Hage, she says, was a sweet man, and bin Laden “was a great boss.”
– Lebanon-born Chawki Youssef Hammoud, convicted in a Hezbollah cigarette-smuggling operation based out of Charlotte, N.C., married American citizen Jessica Fortune for a green card to remain in the country.
– Hammoud’s brother, Mohammed Hammoud, married three different American women. After arriving in the United States on a counterfeit visa, being ordered deported and filing an appeal, he wed Sabina Edwards to gain a green card. Federal immigration officials refused to award him legal status after this first marriage was deemed bogus in 1994. Undaunted, he married Jessica Wedel in May 1997 and, while still wed to her, paid Angela Tsioumas (already married to someone else, too) to marry him in Detroit. The Tsioumas union netted Mohammed Hammoud temporary legal residence to operate the terror cash scam. He was later convicted on 16 counts that included providing material support to Hezbollah.
– A total of eight Middle Eastern men who plotted to bomb New York landmarks in 1993 — Fadil Abdelgani, Amir Abdelgani, Siddig Ibrahim Siddig Ali, Tarig Elhassan, Abdo Mohammed Haggag, Fares Khallafalla, Mohammed Saleh, and Matarawy Mohammed Said Saleh — all obtained legal permanent residence by marrying American citizens.
A year after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, homeland security officials cracked a massive illegal alien Middle Eastern marriage fraud ring in a sting dubbed “Operation Broken Vows.” Authorities were stunned by the scope of the operations, which stretched from Boston to South Carolina to California. But marriage fraud remains a treacherous path of least resistance. The waiting period for U.S. citizenship is cut by more than half for marriage visa beneficiaries. Sham marriage monitoring by backlogged homeland security investigators is practically nonexistent.
As former federal immigration official Michael Cutler warned years ago: “Immigration benefit fraud is certainly one of the major ‘dots’ that was not connected prior to the attacks of September 11, 2001, and remains a ‘dot’ that is not really being addressed the way it needs to be in order to secure our nation against criminals and terrorists who understand how important it is for them to ‘game’ the system as a part of the embedding process.”
Jihadists have knowingly and deliberately exploited our lax immigration and entrance policies to secure the rights and benefits of American citizenship while they plot mass murder — and we haven’t done a thing to stop them.
—
Michelle Malkin is the author of “Culture of Corruption: Obama and his Team of Tax Cheats, Crooks & Cronies” (Regnery 2010).
Re; your discussion this morning 5/20 about the AZ illegal immigration law.
Has anyone there actually read the law? So-called “racial profiling” is specifically prohibited. Please do not join the ranks of the ignorant and misguided.
[...] triple-threat Gordon Keith is best known for appearing on the Ticket. He writes a column in Quick and used to have a regular [...]
Gordon, I bet you were a sack-tapper back in the day. Or maybe you still are….
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,593680,00.html?test=latestnews
Greatest cry ever…
Gordon Reeves?
http://phototopia.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/keanu_and_amanda.jpg
Ronald McDonald Baby… So frightened.
Am I an ass if….I skip my friends baby shower to go directly to Summerbash?
or is he the ass for scheduling his baby shower the same night as summer bash?
Your buddy’s gay for EXPECTING you to be at his baby shower.
A month or so ago Patton Oswalt started a Twitter trend called #stripperacademyfinalecamsongs that pretty much defined all of the most difficult songs to strip to… And you can find them all here
http://twoogel.com/results.php?cx=000636282371745275838%3Ah0voir8x4wi&cof=FORID%3A10&ie=UTF-8&q=%23stripperacademyfinalexamsongs&sa=Search
Why is Norm so upset for being denied access to the mall?
http://www.slothster.com/454-Why-Is-It-Closed—NSFW.html
Gordon,
Here is another example of the Idiocracy that is upon us. You may have seen this before but I have not heard you comment on it. This is from the Fox affiliate in Beaumont.
Gordo, More insanity for you….Dead Squirrel Beer http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/World/Story/STIStory_557680.html
Gordo,
You have to check this out….
Unfortunate headline:
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=815544&sec=england&cc=5901
Check out wades presser,the over and under of the verbal pause known as”ah” was used somewhere in the 70 range,now I know what a deer feels like on opening day of hunting.
Gordo –
I think you might need a Bible tutor after this morning’s muse in the news. I’d be happy to explain the whole “God told Abraham to kill his son” thing and why He doesn’t do it anymore. Although Junior’s theory that God recognizes the publishing date of the Bible, and has stopped giving wild orders is rather funny.
Loyal P1 and Preacher’s Daughter,
Tiffany
Chris-Chris dictionary?
http://unsuck-it.com/browse/
how do you not play this song during ‘the biggest show coming to town’? THE quintessential scott stapp.
i saw this and thought you might laugh
politician rant… should have ended with “in a van down by the river:
This is absolutely as good or better than continuing on now/boom goes the dynamite.
http://feeds.newsok.tv/services/player/bcpid713321302?bctid=4065541001
Hey Gordo– Just like your post involving Dan & Lee Corso, check out this confusing insanity to normal internet surfers.
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/6904375
Swedish Death-Metal is soooooo BAD-ASS!!!!
http://www.break.com/index/swedish-singer-vomits-during-performance
Sorry…..don’t know how to post this with the video already embedded. Hey! I’m from Canada, we’re considerably SLOWER on the uptake people…..
I’m in love. Check out Juliette V. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vv066NyKq9k
Stay Classy San Diego
All hail the tuberous bushcricket — that name scores three guffaws by itself — and its proportionally Michelen-esque sack o’tricks:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20101110/od_afp/scienceanimalssexoffbeat;_ylt=AjzH92KbUOvOdp65aZ6h4kuD3r9_;_ylu=X3oDMTNuZHQ1N3VzBGFzc2V0Ay9zL2FmcC8yMDEwMTExMC9vZF9hZnAvc2NpZW5jZWFuaW1hbHNzZXhvZmZiZWF0BGNjb2RlA21wX2VjXzhfMTAEY3BvcwM4BHBvcwM4BHNlYwN5bl90b3Bfc3RvcmllcwRzbGsDZ29uYWRncmVhdG5l
How to blow a Turkey Call. Gold!!
Gordo,
Could the singer on the top in this video (when they are all singing) be a young Junior Miller hoping to make it in pop stardom?
Hey there,
This may be the most frightening woman ever:
http://moneywatch.bnet.com/career-advice/article/10-disappearing-jobs-fashion-designer/485190/
The 18 Darkest Movie Moments If They’d Been Made By Disney
Very funny!
http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_165_the-18-darkest-movie-moments-if-theyd-been-made-by-disney/
Whatever happened to me?
I missed today’s 8:40 segment, that included the vintage Jerry Jones audio. Please post this either in podcast or on your site. Gotta hear that.
My new favorite website
http://crappytaxidermy.com/
Snake bites the titty, lol
Oh. Turns out it’s not a Corby and Julie sex tape.
Gordon,
I caught the end of your discussion with the musers this morning on the topic of who you dream your child to be one day: A-Rod or Will from Promotions? My wife and I had our first child, a boy, 16 months ago and hearing this really resonated with me. I have taken for granted that I am, and will probably always be, Will from Promotions. I have struggled with this for a long time. My father was a CEO of an S&P 500 company, and I have attained two advanced degrees; however, I am pushing 40 and still part of the “rat race” – long commutes, generic corporate lingo, competing with college graduates for promotions, you name it. I have been struggling with this for a while, call it a mid-life crisis. Well, after this morning, I realize my boy will probabaly grow up some day to think the same way about me – would he want me to be A-Rod or Will from Promotions? In other words, a father with a job where the check clears, I can come home and spend quality time with him? Tears well up to think about such a simple thing.
Gordo, your words do matter. thanks to the musers for being a part of my daily commute for many years.
Stay Hard,
A Loyal P-1
Gordo – Who’s the Honeybadger of the ticket? Is it Rhyner because he eats the same thing all the time or Danny because he wants to kill Cobra?
http://www.youtube.com/user/czg123#p/c/2A9D6BFCC78EDB71
Gordon,
I am reluctant to share this awesome video of Hitler ranting on the closing of LA’s 405 (caregeddon) because of your african bloodfest. I am a Zookeeper at the Dallas Zoo and take care of Kudu, Gemsbok, Zebra, Impala, Waterbuck, and Warthog’s. I understand the hunting “thrill”, but I don’t think you understand the politics of Africa and what it’s really about. A few people making a killing off guys like you under the false pretense of some greater good.
Here is the video. It is priceless!
Mike
I don’t think it is the false pretense of greater good. It’s certainly good for animals to have a monetary value. Your own zoo knows that very well. You want people to pay to see the animals. If they don’t, you go out of business, and you can’t do any of the fine work that good zoos do.
As far as disparity of wealth in a nation, that is a whole ‘nother matter. There is tremendous disparity of wealth in this nation, but I would not say that the industries that contribute to that disparity of wealth (technology, manufacturing, construction, etc.) are inherently bad.
How says the rich have all the fun? Most “wealthy” people are busy working to try to be richer. The poor are having more fun watching T.V. or playing video games while hanging out with their unemployed friends.
Hey Gordon my Granddad was drove JFK’s doctor to Carswell in the Ft Worth motorcade( he was a Ft Worth policeman). I have the rain coat he wore that morning. I’m a conspirator theorist but I respect your knowlege and point of view. I think LOH was probably panicked but he had a plan… Why did his answers to police seem
rehearsed??? The reason he didn’t have his hand gun was because he spent Thursday night in Irving with his family and also to retreive his curtain rods/ rifle. I hope this brings on more questions as always:)
P1 Scott
Please check out this group and connect the dots.
Suite 8F Group
The Suite 8F Group was a network of politically active businessman in Texas and other southern states in the early 1960s. The name comes from the room in the Lamar Hotel in Houston, Texas where they held their meetings.
I’m jerry jones and I own the cowboys
I keep em around as long as they’re my boy toys
Brought Jimmy in and got a superbowl win
Then he started using extendze
Couldn’t have a coach with a bigger dick
So I brought in Barry to light my wick.
Then we won another superbowl
Thought that was the ultimate goal.
But barry had a problem talkin to the press
Kept tellin everyone I looked good in a dress
So I canned his ass and after a while
I brought in wade with his silly smile.
He was mediocre for a couple of years
Finally couldn’t take all of the jeers
Thought id give carrot top a chance
To see if he could take us to the big dance
Jason has a pet he calls tony romo
But everyone thinks tony’s a homo
He’s heard it so much it has brought bad luck
Now I think he really does suck
But jasons wife won’t let him party with me
So win or lose I’m gonna bring back jimmy
- Anonymous 2011
I know you have been looking for a new character for the show. http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/baptist-bible-hour/. See “Dr.” Lasserre Bradley, Jr. Hear his noice and enough said. Also, if you don’t put this character on air within the week, you’ll have lost another listener and a lot of other listeners just like me!
The hot girl playing the banjo behind Glen Campbell might be his daughter or grand daughter.
I’ve been a long time listener of The Ticket,there is never a stale morning listening to you (the jackass),and Dunham and Miller.you all make a great morning show, if The Ticket had an army I would be “front line” soldier,lol anyway keep being controversial,racists,and funny. P.S. y’all had a black round table, y’all need to have a Mexican Roundtable thank you John Sanchez
mike mike mike mike
http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2011/06/the-20-awesomest-photos-of-guys-caught-staring/8/
Why dont I ever hear the Musers talk about how nasty our belts are, think about it, that’s the last thing we touch before we wash your hands and we never wash our belt’s with all that HELL on it! I just lick mine clean?
Thanks for hipping me to the Shaggs. I just ordered their CD from Amazon. They ARE better than the Beatles.
Gordon,
Please give a “plug” for “Save Winfrey Point” situation out at White Rock Lake. The city of Dallas & the Dallas Arb are railroading a parking lot/garage. There is another court date at 9am this morning about the mess. And there is a rally tomorrow morning at Winfrey Point (8am)
I’m a regular listener of the “Ticket”, and I figured you would like to get involved in this controversy. Let Junior & Corby know also as they probably active at the lake.
Thanks
David
[...] Gordon Keith has little nice to say about commenters on blogs such as FrontBurner, Unfair Park, and ostensibly, [...]
Gordon,
My daughter just told me she saw and chatted with you at the Whole Foods. I asked her if she told you that I’m a Day 1 P1. She did not. So…I’m not sure why I feel compelled to tell you that, but…I feel better now…
Good mornin’ to ya.
Michael
Hey, Dork-o – was just watchin ranger game, & they kept cuttin over to Nolan Chattin with his wife in the stands. Would be nice to see some fake Nolan sound bytes mixes in with those cuts lol. (yes. I am a doucher. I already know)
It’s happening.
http://realityrewind.com/americas-got-talent-nick-cannon-kicks-contestant-horse-in-the-crotch-video-353829/
William Henry Harrison died from pneumonia in 1841 that he probably contracted from giving his speech without a jacket to prove he wasn’t too old. His grandson, Benjamin Harrison split Grover Cleveland’s two terms. Ironically, William Henry Harrison’s vice President, John Tyler, who served 1841-1845, has two living grandsons that live 171 years after his term started.
I’m surprised you haven’t looked in to this yet…Latte&Lace…https://www.facebook.com/pages/Latte-Lace/241610045851732?ref=pb…I’m thinking yourself and the Musers need to do a remote out there. And yes, even the coffee is great!
http://www.latteandlace.com
Greatest video ever?
[vimeo http://www.vimeo.com/31515908 w=400&h=300]
I am freaking out! Who does the fake Mark Cuban??
Perfect for you, Gordo.
Last Meals On Death Row Given Out Of Guilt Or Goodwill?
When Robert Anthony Buell, 62, was executed by lethal injection on September 2002 in Lucasville, Ohio for the murder of an 11-year-old girl, he chose for his last meal, a single black, unpitted olive.
It is not exactly sure why he chose his last meal to be so spartan. Buell had ample time during his eight years on death row to think about it.
Another condemned man, Peter J. Miniel, 42, who was executed by lethal injection in October, 2004, in Huntsville, Texas, for the murder of a 21-year-old man, had no problems pigging out before his execution.
After 16 years of death row prison chow, Miniel gorged himself on 20 beef tacos, 20 beef enchiladas, two double cheeseburgers, a pizza with jalapeños, fried chicken, spaghetti with salt, a small fruit cake, half of a chocolate cake, half of a vanilla cake, cookies-n-cream ice cream, caramel pecan fudge ice cream, two Coca-Colas, two Pepsi-Colas, two root beers and two orange juices.
Artist Julia Ziegler-Haynes is hoping to give readers a taste of death row meals with a new book, “Today’s Special,” that artistically depicts the last meals of various prisoners, including Buell and Miniel.
To a person on the outside, last meals may seem a form of compassion to a prisoner before taking his life, but some former residents of death row believe that last meals are given to prisoners more out of guilt than goodwill.
Lawrence Hayes, a former death row inmate who was paroled in 1991 and has since become a spokesman against the death penalty, recently spoke about the tradition on HuffPost Live.
“Last meals are a gimmick to make us feel better about execution,” he told The Huffington Post. “When I first thought about the issue, I thought, ‘OK, this is an act of humanity, of benevolence. But when I started studying it, I realized it was created to ease the conscience of the executioner.”
But while the death penalty is still alive in many states, last meals may be given the last rites, at least in Texas, which banned the custom last year after the infamous last meal of 44-year-old convicted murderer and self-described white supremacist Lawrence Russell Brewer.
Brewer’s last meal order included: two chicken-fried steaks with gravy and sliced onions; a triple-patty bacon cheeseburger; a cheese omelet with ground beef, tomatoes, onions, bell peppers and jalapeños; a bowl of fried okra with ketchup; one pound of barbecued meat with half a loaf of white bread; three fajitas; a meat-lover’s pizza; one pint of ice cream; a slab of peanut-butter fudge with crushed peanuts; and three root beers. However, he didn’t eat any of it.
Your comments about Daryl Hall being the most egocentric man in show business ignore two facts. You still live and this…
http://www.livefromdarylshouse.com/currentep.html?ep_id=67
Gordo,
These guys would give you good material for the corner
Rhett and Link
Gordo, check this out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGrqW3nx5HM
Gordo- Yous have to pull this audio and use it as a drop. Better than the wine stomping chick – but the male version.
Gordo,
I know how you love videos that make you go insane. Here’s another.
Hey gordo, this is ben from your former Richardson high school. I was hoping that for this years graduation (2013) you can give a speech or something so I’m not passed out drooling on my gown. A response would be great and love y’all in the mornings on my way to school!
Gordon,
There is an old Christmas nativity scene tradition that seems to have slipped through our fingers. It’s the tradition of having a Caganer in the scene.
Of all the Ticket hosts, I knew you above the rest would appreciate the urgency and the pressing need to bringing back this tradition to our Christmas nativity scenes.
Please see Caganer:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caganer
Thanks,
P1 Bredt
How do I send you my fake wade Phillips? You will enjoy it.
Thursday’s obit in DMN. Gay Cox died tragically from a tree falling on her car last October. From a head injury. Amazing obit about her. I remember how great she was on the air with you.
9/11 happened before either the Afghanistan invasion (October 2001) or Iraq invasion (March 2003). This morning you claimed the Iraq and Afghanistan wars led to 9/11. Quit the revisionist history and get your facts straight.
http://seattlesportsnet.com/2012/09/12/five-signs-your-sports-fanaticism-is-actually-legitimate-craziness-trying-to-get-out/
http://www.gourdoughs.com/ – how much did you get for naming rights?