"All three areas. Execution. Good football team."
I want you to know I was bullied into doing the Fake Garrett-Top this morning. I didn’t think I had the voice, but at 8:15 Craig betrayed me and teased that we would have the Fake Jason Garrett at 8:40, so I had to “panic write” and come up with the voice in 20 min. I must say, I’ve never had as much response on a new character as this. Not even “Nacho Remnants Eating Man.” I guess P1′s like generic white guys who talk like Foghorn Leghorn. However, I hate to inform you that, sadly, Fake Garrett-Top passed away in a car accident on the way home from the bit today, so this will be the last time you hear from him.
Enjoy.
Thanks to theunticket.com.
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I can only hope that in 3 days time, the Fake Jason Garrett will be resurrected so he can continue to talk about Football and Practice and viewing the tape
I will continue my life in hopes to hear another segment with Fake Jason Garrett. That was awsome
Gordan I think it is time to take the off kid gloves. Jason “dumb ass” Garret may have gone to a Ivy League School, but his calling a time out and freezing our kicker who is the best in the NFL was dumber than anything even Wade Phillips would have done.
I think you should step up the fake Jason and the fake Jerry talking to each other in the morning and tell that red haired bastard what is what. Did you see Jerry in his box after Bailey made the kick to win the game as “dumb ass” Jason called the time out. I’m very suprised that Jerry did not have his next heart attack!!!!!!
Trey, the Jason “dumb ass” hater!!!!
That sucks. You just lost another listener.
gordon you are amazing! another spot on impression..don’t kill him yet…baby arm
Gordon I think YOU have a tape to review.
That infected each of my three areas
Man, that was awesome! That sounded just like him!
agreed
george overlaugh
ABSOLUTE JEANYUS!!!!!!!
Fake JG was one of the best characters I’ve heard you do. Seriously, right up there with Fake Jerry. Can only hope the stories of his demise are greatly exaggerated.
I thought you nailed it, bring it back for Monday with Jerry.
EXACTLY. Except it’s going to be really hard for him to have a full on conversation. It will be more like a talk to Jerry for a bit, then talk to Garrett for a bit type of situation.
Garrett voice is greatness! Greatness is Garrett voice! Football. Review Tape.
(With my mouth away from the microphone) – “STAY HARD JASON!!”
Indeed, indeed.
Why last? Nailed it!
After watching the tape, it clearly shows Fake Jason Garrett removing all three of his areas from the wreckage. Thank God we will hear him repeat himself again as he repeats himself.
Fake red-headed Jesus is NOT dead. He’ll be back. The P-1 will demand it.
fake Jason Garrett is an instant classic. Will never miss another 8:40 bit in hopes of his resurrection. You just lost a listener
If I don’t hear Fake Garrett again next week you just lost yourself a listener.
All of your impersonations are spot on for the most part, but you absolutely nailed this one. Please don’t let him die Gordo.
absolutely spot on.
/stubborn junior disagreement; George immediately flips-flops decades-held position with, “Yeah, I can see that”…
Why did we have to listen to commercials during Muse in the News this morning?? Just switched back to end of bdays!
You have indeed lost another listener. However, I am planning on turning the radio each day to the ticket at precisely 8:40 for a few seconds each day to see if I hear the Fake Garrett, and then turn off if he is not present discussing important Cowboy issues like playing well, moving forward and watching the tape.
That was BRILLIANT…
buuuuuuut it cost you a listener.
The fake Jason Garrett impression was what I like to say great in all three areas: voice, tone and timing. And this was also your best impression in voice, tone and timing. This will get you on the David Letterman show in all three areas!~
Fake Jason Garrett survived that car crash and can’t wait to get back on the air and describe how the doctors did some things well and saved his life.
This was an amazing football impression, well executed, done well, and executed with amazing football genius. As we move forward, we’d like to have more of this moving forward as it was done well.
Could also be Fake Bob Stoops!
Gordo, spot on…. A must for every Monday morning…
That was absolute greatness, & that is coming from Sand Bass Dan Fan Man!
Gordo, how can you not do it again? It is bar none one of your best ever!!!!! Bring Back Fake Garrett!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow…brilliant, generic, lacks in subtlety, and did I say brilliant?
Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow….
Can the fake Rob Ryan be far behind? Let us hope not.
I would like to say having reviewed the tape that it’s a good impression. The impression is good which you can clearly see by reviewing the tape. My only hope is that with consistent practice and by practicing consistency that the fake Jason Garrett can in fact move forward with some consistency. Good morning to ya.
Truly a LOL moment. Dead-on awesomeness.
Gordo, you are too crazy!!This is hilarious! I can’t wait to hear more of this stuff! You nailed Jason!!
That was perfection in all three areas. In all three areas that was perfection. Don’t you dare kill him off.
Gordon, that is the single best impersonation I have ever heard. I don’t know how you can weekly showcase a man repeating himself and talking about the three important areas but if it can be done I know you are the man capable of showcasing a man talking about the three important areas and repeating himself. Continue to muse ever so gently…
“I had to come up with a voice in 20 minutes”? Bullshit!! I heard you do him very briefly at the end of last season and it was dead on. You’ve just been holding out to draw more conversation about it. You just lost a listener.
Free the fake Jason Garrett. The fake Jason Garrett must be freed. Jason Garrett is fake and should be freed.
Gordo, please give the fake Jason Garrett mouth-to-mouth and revive him. It’s amazing how spot-on you have it.
Maybe you could just bring back dead fake Jason Garrett’s head to comment on Cowboys Games.
I actually thought at first you had simply cut some tape of the actually Jason Garret since Jub kept giggling in the background. It took about three questions when the shtick actually started before I realized it was you Elvis Jesus
Killing off the Fake Jason Garrett would be the biggest tragedy since the untimely demise of Nigel. I continue to long for his ghost to come back and haunt Ja, wanting to learn about sport from him.
tell me about sports Georgie!! genius.
I just pissed my pants laughing so hard. Seriously, this one is right up there with fake JJ. PLEASE don’t kill him just yet. I can already picture fake Wade coming back and having a 3-some conversation with fake Jerry and fake Garret. GENIUS!!!!!!!!
With George possessing the exact same body and build as Rob Ryan he should be a natural to roll out the fake RR. There is too much radio gold potential there. Fake Rob versus fake Garrett, Offense vs Defense, the dichotomy of their personalities and speaking styles… they need to review the tape to move forward with executing forward movement on football plays to allow their football team’s execution in all three areas to play good football well.
http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/dayton-news/masturbating-man-at-mcdonalds-leads-police-on-chase-1271844.html?cxtype=rss_local-news
If we can no longer do this in parking lots, then the terrorists truly have won.
Yes, this was so funny and you are such comedic genius that I am going to stop listening too.
executed in all three areas…. can’t have been easy to make that man funny. Like orange valium.
I’m wondering what the pre game meetings, between the fake Jason and Wade might have sounded like .
Gordon Kieth is a fuckin genius
Gordon Kieth is a beast
Gordon- this is expo’s dad, the now banned from practicing in two counties OBGYN. I demand you rehire my son,continue to to do the triple fake Jason Garrett, and no longer acknowledge shoehorned nicknames like “junes”
May the PAP be with you-
and- you lost a listener.
First time, long time- love the show.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can’t kill him I love him already and you owe him to us after killing the fake Wade. Or firing him. Or whatever…………..
Gordon:
Fake Jason Garrett was great! Don’t let him die – we want to hear him every week.
You have gained a listener.
P.S. Can you also do fake Lee Harvey Oswald?
GREATNESS. The best one yet… period… (like a menstrual cycle)
Were they calling pitchers by Number? Did they transpose the digits?
Gordon……… You nailed it! Fake Jason is great! Keep it going!
I took the extra credit assignment however I got bored with the obvious jealousy half-way through that read and went back to work like a normal person.
If your going to have a website…update it…..once every two weeks is crap.
Thank you Jesus i mean Gordo for putting that on your website, i heard the commercial clip with a little of it but not that real thing till now, greatness!. I wanna thank all my fans for reading this reply
Do you like steak?
Hilarious, can’t wait to hear it again!!
George’s overlaugh and the spot on repetition is what makes this instant gold (along side the usher whose name escapes me right now and mushmouth)…
That pic really looks like a ginger Troy Aikman. Could they both be Tom Landry’s illegitimate children?
Anyone think Jason Garret sounds like the French guy in True Lies who made the recording for Arnold to use during the Jamie Lee Curtis strip scene? Especially in his interview standing by his decision to ice his kicker against Arizona: “I don’t have a great answer for you on that.”