Tramp Stamps Revisited

Nothing says early aughts like the tramp stamp. Why women ever thought this was a good look for their beer shelf is beyond me. I guess some men find it attractive. To them, a tramp stamp says “I’m easy.” To me it says “Free hepatitis.” But I’m not against a woman having one, just err on the side of caution and ONLY get one of the following designs.

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Man Gives Up on Life, Cross-dresses, Wears Dirty Underwear On Head

Oh my. Sometimes desperation paints a colorful picture. Dallas Police want your help in finding this dude. He robbed a Lemmon Avenue Exxon Tigermart on August 16, 2011 at 5:25 AM.

Look at the video. He enters the store wearing white go-go boots and a dress. In the biggest give up known to man, his face is covered with underwear. He is holding what could possibly be a gun under the tasteful floral print dress. He’s is described as a white male (they’re the worst), 5’05″ and weighing 145 lbs.

Find him, shake his hand, then call cops.

The Republican Hypno-wheel of Fun

Stop Taking Photos of Politicians Eating Corny Dogs

Oh yeah... I'm gonna take you deep within my body..

Twitter Link Roundup Tuesday

A cowboy hat. (Didn't have time to crop.)

As I do from time to time (only once), I like to gather up links I’ve posted on my Twitter and post them here. Enjoy. Think. Love.

The Red Flag Indicator Just Broke

Make your own Big Black Cowboy Computer

This is where you’re sent when you are kicked out of hell

Ralph Strangis involved in hotel murder

Rick Perry loves Charlie Chaplin

Being a Man of Honor has a price

Don’t forget this

Blow Things Away For Charity

Click for excitement

You take a sip of beer and set your glass down in the clear puddle on the table as the waitress stacks our plates. “Gordon, what can I do to destroy circular inanimate objects and help children at the same time?”

I watch your glass hydroplane across the table and prepare to give you the greatest news of your life. “My friend, you can come shoot sporting clays with me next Friday.”

You begin to cry as you win the lottery and busty women gather to sing your praises. Santa winks at you. The end.

Wanna shoot guns with me? You’re in luck, because my Big Charity Clay Shoot benefiting Big Brothers Big Sisters is next Friday, August 19th. Shooting clays is one of life’s great pleasures and can be damn addicting. The Musers will be broadcasting live, providing handcrafted radio candy. We’ll also provide lunch, prizes, and shotgun shells. All you have to do is bring yourself, your shotgun, and maybe a friend or two. Some people bring their wives and children. Perfect. If you don’t have a shotgun you can rent one from our host, Elm Fork.

Register at bigclayshoot.com. The price is reasonable and supports a cause close to my heart, mentoring disadvantaged kids and introducing them to the outdoors. This is a beautiful world and it’s a shame that some kids have never held a fishing pole or seen a duck fly low over a smoky lake.

This is my 6th year hosting this incredible event. We’ve raised $500,000 for Big Brothers Big Sisters Outdoor Mentoring programs and you can help us raise more.

Click here for more info.

Watch this fine video of Musers blowing stuff away.

Evaluate This Crime Spree Chick

From TMZ, personally cropped by me for propriety

Now, I’m not saying she’s hot. But she’s the most “date”-able member of the Dougherty gang for sure.

One of her quotes: “I love to farm and shoot guys and wreck cars. I’m a redneck and proud of it. I like milk and German engineering and causing mayhem with my siblings.”

That’s hot.

UPDATE: There are even some nude photos of her circulating.

UPDATE 2: Man, these are the mother lode. Especially this one.

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The Office- Dallas Style

I still love this theme song and intro style.

White Flowers Friday

Didn't have time to crop the pic.

The stock market tanked yesterday and people are grouchy. But I learned something in college economics that has always stuck with me. Investors are cheered up by the sight of flowers. Let’s hope this works.

Columnist Quits After Six Years

Author hard at work

Quick, the quirky newspaper turned weekly drink special cheat sheet, is closing after eight years. This makes me pretty sad. Because I love drink specials. Plus, I wrote a column for them for over six years. I’ll have more to say on this later (when I get some time to update this post). In the mean time…

My final Quick column can be read here. It ends awkwardly.

Another Crazy Collar Bomb Incident

This woman was targeted

One of the most fascinating stories of 2003 was the story of the pizza delivery man who showed up in a bank with a collar bomb around his necklace holder. It took a while for the case to be solved. Now we’ve had another collar bomb episode. Fortunately, this one didn’t end in death.

Meet Madeleine Pulver, the daughter of a wealthy Australian businessman. A man clamp a bomb around her neck and apparently wanted some handsome ransom. Creepy stuff. Story link below.

The story of Madeleine’s ordeal.

Another pic of Madeleine

Confusing Business in Fredericksburg

As we drove through the junk-selling Hill Country town of Fredericksburg yesterday, I spotted a tremendous hypnosis-inducer that turned my eyes into slot machine wheels. It was a store called “Phil Jackson’s Amazing World of Things.” WTF? Phil Jackson? THE Phil Jackson? He’s smart and Buddhist. Surely he would have come up something a little less generic than “Amazing World of Things,” right?

Still not as confusing as that place in Dallas that has a big stand alone sign of an ice cream cone out front that say “Eggroll Hut” or something.

Things We’re Talking About

Women in Motocross

Snakes on a car

Dirk Look-alike Spotted

A P1 snapped this pic of a guy working the gondola in Telluride. Everyone has an identical twin in the world. Dirk’s is American by God. Just like Dirk himself.