Timewasters 2011 Footage

I will add as I become aware of them.

My Armchair Thoughts About Ticketstock 2011

I thought this was a top three Ticketstock. Definitely in the top seventeen. Thanks to all the Good Strong P1′s for coming out to see the Little Ticket waste a weekend in spectacular fashion. I even met a guy from Boise, Idaho who’s never lived in Dallas and who found the Ticket online years ago and has been a P1 ever since. He flew down to Dallas just for Ticketstock.

We had close to 4000 souls packed in the Plano Center for the Timewasters on Friday night. I’m still looking for Youtube footage. So far I’ve only found a partial Teenage Dream with Fake Jerry and Wade. And some up close and personal Sweet Hardline action. If you find anymore, let me know and I’ll post ‘em.

UPDATE: A P1 just sent me some more footage, this time of my singing of Centerfold. Embarrassingly, you can witness how much I rely on music stand to remember the lyrics to a song I’ve heard a million times.

Mike showing his skillz

Several funny pics online. Enjoy Mike’s pelvic thrusting on the Dallas Observer’s Slide Show.

Local photographer Mike Brooks also took some beautiful photos of Norm and his great-grandson.

Favorite moment? Maybe Tim Brown telling behind-the-scenes stories that made us wonder if he knew he was on the air. Maybe the Playboy Playmate who thought Hitler defeated the Nazi’s in the 1920′s while America was busy fighting the British and the “J People.” What did you like?

Comments are on.

Since Junior Now Loves Arrested Development…

Here’s an encore presentation of my interview with Gob for something or another.

The Hunter’s Apology: A reexamination

A typical hunter

I wrote this piece in 2004. It appeared in the Sportspage on June 2 of that year. Rereading it was an odd experience. Our attitudes toward hunting are complicated.

There are several things a man should know: how to build a house, how to kill a meal, and which kinds of women to stay away from.

For modern man, hunting is a tough issue. But like most things tough, your soul gains much by suffering through it.

When I announced on the air that I was getting interested in the art of hunting, I received a lot of response. Most was of the “I’m glad you are talking about this fine sport…” but there were a few “why would you even contemplate such a barbaric act, the killing of defenseless animal?”

I hope within this space to help the doubters to consider and the doers to contemplate, but mainly, I seek to work out my own feelings on the matter by setting them down.

I feel a calling to the hunt, because in my short life I am seeking the answers to Death. Mine and other’s. In this sense, hunting is another confusing yet necessary part of my life. Before I complete my earthly cycle, I want to see the sacrifice made by other creatures in their contribution to my years.

Fun candy for your eyes and brain

George Dunham in trouble

Click to find out why

pwned

Kick Ass Food

One of the best places to find Idiocracy hard at work is the grocery store. Our kick-assy food choices are the cutting edge of dystopia. (I don’t know what I just said.) P1′s are always on the lookout for these telltale products. Here are a few that you’ve sent me. Delish.

This makes me insane and laugh

I love the picture and the first sentence strips my mind of sanity…

Click for fun timez

Worst TV flub ever

Please don’t let it be a stroke…

Love Child of the Day

Facebook and You

Too much fun

Interesting discussion on Facebook this morning.

Ever wonder why everyone else is having a kick-ass life except you? They aren’t. They just want you to think that. People have become their own online PR brand managers and are quite successful at selling you a load of half-truths and downright cow shit. Online, everyone is witty, well-photographed, and successful. They are also gentle liars, just like offline. We may enjoy being a part of the online reality show at first, but soon we begin to feel something replacing the euphoria. The pangs of jealousy and annoyance. Is their life really so kick-ass that I can’t compete? They never seem to mention Debt, Premature Ejaculation, or their Slow, Ugly Kid Who Embarrasses Them. They want you to believe the image. And here’s the weird thing. You do. Maybe not intellectually, but emotionally.

The allure of glamorizing one’s life through the carefully groomed Facebook persona is catnip to our humdrum lives. We are always padding our resume. Always dressing up our CV. Why? Because somewhere along the line we absorbed the message that having a decent, middle of the road life, isn’t good enough. We need glamour. Thank Madison Avenue. Thank your hard-driving parents. Thank the Devil.

Another aspect of Facebook is the frequent and dangerous reconnection with old flames. As I said this morning. This is powerful magic. To a girl whose high school boyfriend dumped her, he is unfinished business that’s now only a click away. A few ambiguous semi-flirty messages can test his temperature and give you butterflies that you thought were long dead. Next thing you know, you’re going out for lunch, innocently. But the old flame represents something else. It is a connection to your younger, glorified self. With your old flame, you are still smooth-skinned, hopeful, and energetic. You are not what you have become. This is the true dangerous magic. Your old flame represents the “What You Could Be Again: Alive.”

Facebook is merely a tool. I don’t hate it. At all. I don’t really love it either. And I certainly don’t think anyone is superior for eschewing it. By the way, Twitter is another tool for Living Out Loud that can be just as annoying. But you get the point.

I don’t want to repeat all of my points on the matter, but I do want to share one email from P1 Gen X Brett. I thought it was pretty insightful and well-put.

More Trouble for Dwaine Caraway

You've earned it, and we love you!

Guess the Identity of This Famous Person

From a P1: “A girl friend of mine dated [redacted] back at Vanderbilt for a little while. She did us the favor of saving this photo of him. Such a homeaux.”

Dear P1: You’ve been duped. Or you were just trying to dupe me.

Guess who

Caption this Ambien Moment

Your caption here

Another Super Bowl embarrassment for Dallas

Dallas Mayor Pro Tem Dwaine Caraway presented Michael Vick a key to our city, where we keep our dogs and children. What the H. E. double hockey sticks? This is non-thinking dumbassery at its finest. Seriously, what has Michael Vick ever done for the city of Dallas, other than make a stop here on his Redemption Tour With Bottle Service which happened to coincide with the Super Bowl? He’s an Eagle for goodness sakes. That fact alone means he deserves the Finger of the City. Former Ticket host Richard Hunter, who adopted one of Vick’s bait dogs, decided to cover the event. Here’s his video.

Ticket listener recreates Jerry’s Deathstar for the Super Bowl Viewing

Al Davis still haunts my football dreams

I'm skittering after you like a mechanical diaper wearing crab.

Superbowl Tuesday

George Dunham stalks.

A horrible day for weather, but a good day for Superbowl fun. The Musers got their very own bus with leather seats and heat in which to ride to the Debtstar for Media Day (aka the biggest beating you can imagine). There was even a police escort. Or maybe it was police surveillance. I don’t know. The roads were deserted except for the occasional abandoned car and the landscape was monochrome and post-apocalyptic. Sounds like I’m writing a music review. I don’t know why we had on our own bus. Seems like they could have found three more seat on the bus in front of us, but they didn’t. And even though we had all 104 seats to ourselves, I insisted upon sitting on George’s lap. It was a bumpy ride.

After we got to Steelers media day, fun happened. Awkward interviews, over-laughing, and liners were executed flawlessly. All the show hosts were there except for Norm. Even a couple of the producers.

Tune into the Musers every morning from 5:30 to 10am for maximum strength Premium Grade entertainment.