No Basketball Monday

Sorry. I couldn't find a pic of a basketball by itself on short notice.

Craig loves the smell of microphones in the morning…

Happy Birthday, Ticket

Blow hard

The Ticket turned 17 years old on Monday. That’s legal in the state of Texas. I thought I would open up the comments for good P1′s like you to share your favorite moments. Already, through email and twitter, dozens of P1′s shared with me so many funny bits and lines that I’d forgotten about.

My favorite characters? Fake Greggo (RIP) was by far my favorite to do. Wild Assed Double Fake Norm is probably second. In his heyday, Microphone Johnson was hard to beat, especially the Ken Hitchcock interview. Maybe I’ll come back to this post and add more later. When I sober up.

Roethlisberger Gets a Taste of His Own Coital Medicine

The Finger Wipe Heard ‘Round the World

Surfboard Friday

This is the best pic of a surfboard I could find on short notice

Al Davis… exhumed.

You MUST click this

Growing old sucks, but it beats the alternative. Growing old as Al Davis doesn’t.

I really can’t make sense of this photo. He looks like a Terminator that’s losing its biological shell, or a Zombie of the slow-moving kind. I have a huge soft-spot for old people, because I hope to be one someday, but this just scares me. He is literally decomposing while still alive. Did he touch an armadillo and get leprosy? Click for shocking desktop wallpaper.

Dying with Dignity

Nurse Feelgood

Normally, we support hot women making love to men, especially if it’s the man’s dying wish. But this case gets very confusing. A fairly hot nurse falls for the terminally ill man in her care. The man not only has Lou Gehrig’s disease but only six months to live. They fall in love and she makes love to him hard in his wheelchair. Many times. Over and over. Hard. The man is a willing participant. Till approaching death do they part, right? Right. Until his wife gets involved. (record scratch)

The wife sees text messages. The man is busted. The nurse throws him a slider when she tells him she’s pregnant by another set of genitals that aren’t his. The man expresses his displeasure with the reproduction through the poetry of attempted suicide. Failing at that, he sues. Then drops the suit and dies. Now the nurse has lost her license for 20 yrs, the wife is without a husband, and the husband is without a life. And their two kids live with the legacy of those chaotic last few months of their parent’s marriage and their dad’s life. Messy, isn’t it?

But is my question for you- who was the MOST wrong here?

The nurse certainly crossed a professional line, but let’s say that the man told her he was unhappily married, it was his dying wish, “I’m so glad I found my soulmate before I died,” etc. You know, all those things a man will tell a woman to get into her chamber of pleasures. Let’s say she was actually convinced that this was her English Patient and she was able to overlook his physical handicaps. Is she still the sorriest? Or is it the guy who did this to his wife?

Now I realize that the guy was dying! Can we still blame him?

In the end, we don’t know enough about the man’s heart or the nurse’s heart to really assign the label of “sorriest.” But we all know who we feel the sorriest for, right? The wife. Unless she drove him to it… (dramatic sounder).

I give up on making sense of it. Too much suffering in the world.

I’m turning the comments on. Be respectful.

Pronounce the name of this ship

Super Gay

Quickly, what is the name of this super-gay space ship? Say it out loud. Now how did you say it? “Fal-kun” or “Fall-kun?” This is important stuff. Much more important that curing disease.

This morning, on the strong airwaves of the Ticket, I pronounced it “Fall-kun” then became self-conscious about the pronunciation so I asked Jer. He didn’t help, because he hates me. But many of you filthy P1′s chimed in via Twitter and email.

I share one such bit of feedback.

The Rose Bowl Lady and why monitors are important

Libby Evans Wright, a wonderful woman with a pleasant demeanor and a heart of the finest gold, addressed the TCU faithful on Jan 16, 2011 in Ft. Worth, TX. As a member of the Rose Bowl committee she was excited and prepared to address the 6000 purple-lovers in attendance. The only problem was that she was completely thrown off by the echo from the loudspeakers. This caused an ephemeral medical condition known as “drunk voice.” She soldiered on and made it to the end of the speech. A story of courage, perseverance, and audio gold.

I hope Libby and her family have a sense of humor about this. We played this audio this morning on the Marconi-centric Musers and we heard from so many P1′s who wanted to review it again. Now you can see it with your own human eyes. Please note that we’re only presenting this in our love of Libby.

Amazing footage: God hates Australian cars

A Very Strange Listing in the Strange World of Craigslist

Does this man know they are selling his PBF's?

Ever wanted to own a “used condom?” How about a used condom and a horse guitar? How about a used condom and a horse guitar that were both soiled by Lemmy?

How about a used condom and a horse guitar, one of which was soiled by Lemmy as he was preventing pregnancy with Stevie Nicks?

Finally, your chance has arrived… from Garland.

Sarah Palin’s breathing turns my eyes into hypnowheels

Slow Motion Friday

Do you like this field?

New field at New Braunfels Canyon High- Click for story

I side with the old men

The naughtiest of all teachers

Click to find out what these naughty teachers did

Click here for more Google news results

Get fit Monday

Don't forget to wipe off the machines

Which naughty teacher do you like better? This one, who works at a provocatively named high school? Or maybe this one who taught Physical Education real hard.

Sometimes, when a story like this comes along, I wish Mike Snyder was still around to read the quotes on TV.

Why are we fascinated with prison stories? I don’t know, bur here is a great account of one man’s experience.

Do you like tennis?

Homeless Guy with Amazing Voice