Official position: What goes on in their marriage is none of our business, and just because he cheats, doesn’t mean we’re entitled to explore and exploit his personal life even further. HOWEVER, here are the jokes going around. Healing through unmalicious laughter?
Apparently, the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She said, “I don’t know exactly, but put me down for a 5.”
If the only person that can beat Tiger is a blonde with big breasts, it’s time for Phil Mickelson to bleach his hair.
What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
What was Elin doing out at 2.30 in the morning? Clubbing
Why did Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant AND a tree? He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
Why did Phil Mickelson call Elin yesterday? To pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger.
What is the penalty for getting it in the wrong hole? Ask Tiger, he knows.
Tiger drives very well on the fairway but doesn’t fare very well on the driveway. Rock me.
Whats the difference between a golf ball and a caddy? Tiger can drive a golf ball.
Nike wants to drop their endorsement due to accuracy problems. Apparently, Tiger’s spraying his balls everywhere.
It turns out that fixing Tiger’s game and fixing his marriage both require the same thing: better control over his putz.
Why was Tiger’s wife mad at him? She heard that he played a-round in Australia.
What will the headline be if they prove it is domestic violence? TIGER’S WIFE MAKES THE CUT
Given Tiger’s racial heritage can we call this a Black Thai affair?
Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family. Cheetah.
Elin Woods has a twin sister named Josephine. Know how to tell them apart? Elin is the one holding the bent 5 iron.
What do Tiger and the Beatles have in common? They both experienced a hit with Norwegian Wood.
First words spoken to the paramedics by Tiger: Who are you? And what are all these trees doing in my living room?
Tiger Wood’s shirt is all red- problem is, there’s no tournament, and his veins are a pint low.
What does Tiger have in common with a baby seal? They’ve both been clubbed by a Norwegian.
http://www.sportspickle.com/might-have-heard:131/tiger-woods-waiting-for-more-columnists-to-chime-in-before-deciding-what-to-do
Gordan your over looking one thing. Look at the photos of his car very carefully. Damage to the driver’s side hood. She was swinging that 9 iron as he drove out the drive. That’s why the windows were broken out.
And this is our business because……?
Because he takes millions of dollars in endorsement fees to represent himself an the corporation as a great public figure……
Gordan = Gordon
your = you’re
over looking = overlooking
This may be the first time I have seen a comment which opens with 3 misspelled words right out of the chute. You are to be congratulated!
You missed one, spellingnazi – he needed a comma after “Gordon.” So that’s FOUR errors in the first THREE words!
Greatness. Some are lame-to-good. Some are really good. But some of these… are Greatness.
those are great! even funnier listening to zippy the clown tell them..
http://www.theunticket.com/zippy-the-clown-tiger-woods-joke-series/
how did Tiger finally get caught? Elin found other girls fingerprints all over his shaft. zing!
AHHHHOUGH!!!
Eeny, meeny, miney, mo. Catch a Tiger by his fro. If he hollar, hit him in the face with a 7 iron?
I heard that Tiger’s Black side bought an Escalade on 24′s and his Asian side ran it into a tree…
FTW!
ROFL
CITFP (Crying In The Fetal Position)
why in the world would somone with that type of money drive an escalade….my unemployed neighbor drives an escalade…gotta love america…
Tiger is unemployed too!!
I wonder if Nike will introduce a Tiger indorsed condom? It could have a sexy tiger print and perhaps the Nike swoosh. I know Trojan dominates this market, but Nike always seems to beat out stiff competition.
One more thing…..is there any truth to the rumor that Jaimee Grubbs belongs to the Audubon Society? She’s reported to have seen an extremely rare wood-pecker upwards of 20 times.
and the condom will say “Just Do It”
No it would say “Just Do Me”
What’s Elin Woods’ favorite song?
Buck Owens’ I’ve got a Tiger by the tail!
Tiger’s bring out his own after shave called “Number Seven” .
I think we’ve found the chink in Tiger’s armor.
i’m sorry.
Geez Gordo, since when did you get all PC? You don’t have to provide a disclaimer or a positioning statement… These are jokes…’nuff said. If others are offended they can leave…and don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.
There’s a new fight movie coming out, CROUCHING TIGER SWINGING CLUB
How did Tiger get himself into trouble?
1) By sinking his “putts” into the wrong hole
2) By using his “putter” when he should have used a driver
did you hear Tiger is leaving golf to pursue a career in music?
yea, he’s the newest member of the Black Eyed Peas
Already lost interest…………
Did you also hear that Michael Jackson died recently
Michael Jackson died in June duh
Ever since Tigers wife got pissed at him, He has been just racking up the strokes.
Here are two more tiger jokes.
Tiger just signed a 100 million dollar endorsement deal. He is going to be the spokesperson for Trojain Condoms.
Buick is coming out with a new commerical. It will show Tiger getting laid in the back of a Rainer!!
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TIGER AND HIS SPONSORS?
—ONE KNOWS WHEN TO PULL OUT.
Rock me.
What is the difference between Tiger Woods and OJ?
With Tiger the white chic won.
Even the maestro Hank Haney can’t fix this particular schwing flaw
Tiger to Santa: “Santa, I’ve been a really bad boy this year, well, for a couple of years actually.”
Santa to Tiger: “Don’t worry about it, son, even I get to have three Ho-Ho-Ho’s.”
And to all you self-proclaimed morality police banging on about it being private, IT’S NOT. Allegedly, the dude committed adultery (and judging by his PR team’s website confession, it’s true.) Adultery, while not prosecuted, is still judicially enforceable in the state of Florida. Therefore, he committed a crime. Crimes are public record, ergo no right to privacy. You wanna join the I-wanna-suck-Tiger’s-dick club best get in line…it’s already way round the block.
If he wants some respect then he needs to get in front of a camera and show appropriate and genuine remorse or contrition, that is if he even has the balls for it (which apparently he he does)
after 7 holes tiger woods is under par
Funny one from Conan last night:
Gatorade has said that their decision to stop production of a Tiger Woods brand of Gatorade is unconnected to Tiger’s recent behavior. That’s what they said, yeah. Although it probably didn’t help that the slogan for the drink was: ‘Tiger Woods, is it in you?’
How many people does it take to handle Tiger’s golf gear?
14, One guy for the clubs, and 13 women and counting for the balls.
Did Tiger play the front nine, the back nine or all 18 holes?
Tiger’s been playing well lately. He’s been leaving his balls hole high.
first he was a cheeta….then a tiger…now I heard he is lion
FYI, Elin is Swedish, not Norwegian!
Unabridged Tiger Woods Jokes
My 14-year-old daughter came home from school with this joke:
What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?
Santa stopped at three ho’s.
Q: 18 women that have sex with Tiger Woods are called?
A: A Golf Course!
Okay people, I have a joke of my own. (yes, folks, I made it up – I have copyright
)
I don’t know why everyone is so surprised that Tiger had had sex with 13 women. Am I the only one to remember that Tiger’s objective is to go for 18 holes??
” Every golfer knows that you can’t play the same hole over and over “
Hey. I have a joke a friend told me yesterday:
What’s the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?
….
Santa only has three hoes !
(ooooh!!)
XD bahaha lmao
whats the difference between tiger and santa…….santa stops after 3 hoes
Number one tiger joke
Tiger will resume his golf career.
I heard Tiger is going to play golf again
What purpose do the jokes about Norwegian Wood serve, Elin is Swedish you clowns
A lion would never betray his wife, but a tiger ‘wood’
Did u know, Tiger has changed his name to ‘Cheetah’
It’s all a sad misunderstanding.
Tiger thought the sign said “US Open”
A lion would never cheat on his wife. But a Tiger Wood.
So, How many holes has Tiger Played? lol
I made this one up
Tiger is making a cover of the song ‘clubbed to death’
Tiger wood is a cheetah
check out the new Tiger Woods funny “Tame The Tiger ” bobblehead http://twitpic.com/xvias
Not bad… there’s a few good ones up there! Thanks for laugh!